Today I learnt that I didn’t get a job I went for, an internal transfer that I applied for 10 months ago and have been pinning my hopes on for a continuation of my career in aerospace engineering since then.

Today I managed three hours in the office at my current job until whatever is going on with my head forced me to retreat back home to the comfort of my sofa and work from home.

Today was the day I quietly quit my job, to use the popular phrase that is floating around at the moment, meaning to do the bare minimum required.

Today, like so many whose lives have been tainted by the mental health services I have come to the conclusion that I am unable to sustain a normal job, if I am unable to get a job that I have literally done before, then I am unable to get any job within the engineering world and it seems that there is no other option for me at the moment that to request yet more paid sick leave, thus further impacting my future career prospects. 

Hi, my name is Robyn Elizabeth though I write and perform under the pen name of Poppy Radcliffe and today I became another statistic of the mental health services, today I became another person who quite simple can not work.  It’s not that I don’t want to work, I do beyond anything.  I like to be mentally stimulated and I like to shop and work is the answer to both of these things, but I lasted three hours in the office today before I had to flee as my anxiety was spiking.

Today, I emailed the BBC in the hope of getting a chance to tell my story to the masses.

I would much rather have been celebrating getting a new role and never talking about the past again.

I didn’t want to weave a web

I didn’t want to save the world

I didn’t want to scream and shout

Or turn my body inside out

I wanted just the quiet life

To have a job and be a wife

To maybe have a kid or two

And spend my life alone with you

But life is strange and sticks and stones

Despite them words will break your bones

But words can change a life around

And put your feet back on the ground

And words with nothing left to lose

You have a life, you live, you choose

And now I choose my soul to bare

At least I’ll try, at least I care.